Unread Letters
by Miss Ani Mae
Summary: A collection of short stories from various characters of the DBZ series beginning before the Android Saga . So far featuring Bulma, Yamcha, Vegeta and Future Trunks - with more to come.
1. Bulma

_...Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was dying since the day they were born..._

* * *

It's odd. I find myself surprised by the very fact that I'm already surprised. Does that make sense? Probably not. I guess I should explain…

You left today.

You didn't say goodbye. You didn't tell me where you were going, or if you were coming back. And I really don't know if you will…

I try to tell myself that you will. You have unfinished business here on Earth. If not with me, then with Goku. With the androids you've vowed to destroy. Maybe even… with your son. You'll be back. Eventually.

You know… I did a lot of thinking when I offered you a place to stay for the next three years. I thought about why I did it, when I knew you'd be fine living in the wilderness or the mountains. It's what Goku did when he was a boy, and Gohan was left in the wild to train as well. I knew you could take care of yourself.

But… I kind of didn't want you to have to.

It just seemed so wrong. Maybe you're intentions weren't always admirable. They weren't pure, because, let's face it, _you're_ not. You're evil. You're a killer, a murderer… and I don't want to imagine anything else you might have done. But you were under Freeza's rule at the time.

But you're still a Saiyan. You would have been the same cold, ruthless killing machine even if you hadn't been taken as a hostage, a slave.

That didn't stop me seeing through you though. I think that's why you were always so hard on the outside. You put up those walls everyday for the time you spent here. I wonder sometimes, if it was the same when I saw you on Namek. When you killed and threatened my friends. Was all of that an act? Or did you enjoy it?

Part of me knows you did. But the other part doesn't seem to care.

You see, we're the same, me and you. Oh yes, you'd deny it. How could the Saiyan Prince be the same as a lowly earthling woman who can't even open a stuck jar of pickles? But we are. Because… we're both lonely.

That's why I asked you stay, I think. It never felt right, you were always on the outside, just out of everybody's reach. I suppose I wanted to show you that not everybody was like that. Some people would reach out to you, no matter how many times you slapped them away. I was determined to be that person.

"_You can't go around on your own forever. The loneliness will kill you, if nothing else."_

You hated it when I told you that. Probably because you already knew.

But it's how I felt too, have always felt. Since I was a little girl. I was always different. Too smart. Too loudmouthed. Too opinionated. The other kids avoided me. The ones I did make friends with were only interested because I was rich. I had to buy people's affection. I felt so pitiable. I thought I'd never be good enough for anyone. Not _real_ friends. Not a real boyfriend, so I set out to find the dragonballs and wish for one instead. Then 'poof', problem solved. Bulma Briefs. Scientist, millionaire, lover…

Loved.

It's pathetic isn't it. Wishing for what you don't have. You wanted power, you wanted to feel strong again. But it was snatched away from you at every turn.

I can understand how frustrating that must be.

Even when I found Yamcha… I was still alone. I thought he'd solve all my problems, you know? I'd be… I don't know. Whole? Complete? This was what I was supposed to want, supposed to have. Just like you were supposed to have the power of the Super Saiyan. Just like you were supposed to avenge your people, and yourself, for all your suffering.

But it runs deeper then that, doesn't it. You killed your own kind. You killed Nappa, you didn't care about Goku's brother when he died. I think you lost yourself in your anger, in your need for revenge and power. I think it all bled together, and you forgot your way. The only light you could see, the only way out was to reach Super Saiyan and prove that _you _were the one with the power.

But that didn't stop the loneliness, did it.

I could feel it in you, in the way you touched me, like you weren't sure I was even there with you. Have you ever had someone willingly touch you like that? Like I did? I didn't recoil, I didn't quiver in fear. I saw you. And I didn't use what I saw to mock or control you.

I bet you got confused.

I bet… that's why you left. You must be confused.

Because it's not just about power anymore, is it. It's about what you're going to do afterwards, after you reach your goal.

What will you have to show for it Vegeta?

Another crumbled planet. Another Saiyan child left behind. Your child.

It stung when you were left with Freeza, at his mercy, forced to fight and kill. I don't know much about Saiyans, but I know how Gohan looks to his father. I see the admiration in his eyes. Did you feel like that about you're father? Did you love him? Did you feel betrayed when you were left behind?

What do you feel now you're the one doing the leaving? Trunks is barely a month old. You've never held him. You weren't there for the birth. But you stayed… for a while. You could have left when I told you I was pregnant, but you didn't. I don't believe you felt nothing. I don't know if you love me, or your son. I could readily believe you're not capable of that any more. After all, how can a person love another when they've never been loved themselves.

... but I loved, _love_, you. I do. Even when it hurts, even when it confuses me. Even when I don't want to, I still love you.

So what do you say to that, Vegeta?

… _Vegeta… _

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Dragonballz nor the lyrics (Lisa Loeb - Stay)**


	2. Yamcha

_Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory,_

_Leave out all the rest…_

* * *

I never wanted to see you in so much pain Bulma.

I'll be honest… at first, I wanted you to suffer. Just a little. I was angry! I couldn't understand how you could just walk away from us like you did. And to go to _him_… after everything he did, what he put us all through. And I just know he isn't done yet.

You say he's changed, he's different. Well, let me tell you something Bulma. Men like him don't change. He's seen too much, done too much, to ever really change.

Just to think of him touching you like I used to… it makes me sick. Not because I still think of you as mine, but because I know you can do better then him. You _deserve_ better.

Better then me too, I suppose.

I just thought I should tell you that, so you know this isn't about me and you. I still care about you Bulma, too much to just sit back and watched how you try to smile when I know you're falling apart on the inside. I hate the way the heartbreak is written across you face, every time you look at the sky at night, trying to spot a light that doesn't belong up there. He might come back, I don't doubt it. He still has things to take care of.

And that's what I'm worried about. I… I don't want him anywhere near you Bulma. Something about the thought of you two… as a 'couple'. It makes my skin crawl because I know how dangerous he is.

I know you can take care of yourself, you proved it time and time again since the day I met you. I even saw you put Vegeta in his place on a number of occasions. I should have known something was going on then, the way he just let you talk down to him. Had it been anyone else, he would have vaporised them in an instant.

But, it was _you_. I can't believe I missed the way he would look at you. I did see it once, the hunger. But I mistook it for something else. It wasn't until you told me you were pregnant did I realise that look hadn't been bloodlust, or a desire for revenge, to lash out at you. He _wanted_ you.

I wish I hadn't been so self-involved. Things would be different, maybe it would be my kid I watch you feed and cradle. But I got so rapped up in my own life, I know I wasn't the best boyfriend in the world. I was never quite what you wanted. I tried everything. I tried being kind, sweet and thoughtful. I tried being cold, hard and dangerous. But I never got it quite right.

I think, if I had been myself, like I am now, you might have been happier with me. But I guess we'll never know. Because I see the way you look at your son, and I hear the love in your voice when you say _his_ name. And it breaks my heart to see you like that. With him.

Without me.

I wish I could go back, but I know I just need to accept this as part of your life now.

But whatever happens Bulma, you don't have to do it alone, OK?

* * *

_Next Chapter: Vegeta_

_And a huge thanks to my reviewers, especially anenihan, who convinced me to add a little more to this not quite finished story... :D_

**Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective owners, including the lyrics (Leave out all the rest – Linkin Park)**


	3. Vegeta

_Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles_

_till you... Let go._

_Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,_

_and you throw yourself off._

_Now you're out there spinning..._

_In the deep._

* * *

A Saiyan's memory was never the most important feature of their being. As long as you could fight, that was all you needed. Memories, nostalgia… it was all pointless.

I can't even remember the look of my own planet, the face of my own mother…

Yet… I can't erase your face from my memory, no matter how hard I try. Not even the pain of training, pushing myself to the edges of destruction, can make me forget how soft you felt in a world where everything was hard, and cruel.

_Bulma…_

I detested saying your name, but you never knew. Calling you by your name meant recognizing you as another living being, it was easier to think of you like I did everyone else; just another enemy, another nameless soul to exploit and destroy when the time was right.

You thought I enjoyed taunting you, calling you 'woman'. I still remember when I referred to you as a servant. Never had someone so blatantly opposed me.

I found it annoying, and disrespectful. Even infuriating at times. But also… amusing. It was different.

At first I hated it, and you. You held no deference for my title, my heritage. You called me 'monkey-prince' and I would find it… endearing. The way you planted your fists on full hips and pouted at me, just daring me to push you a little further… your spirit was like none I'd ever seen before. You were like me, reveling in the pain and the rage, just to block out… other emotions.

That's not to say that your presence was ever welcome in my life, nor your favors. I owe you nothing for what you so selflessly, and foolishly, gave away. I didn't ask to find myself on Earth, in your home, in your bed.

It came as a surprise to me, as much as it did to you, that we became… lovers. Our arguments become so heated, your attitude towards me relaxed as you realized I wouldn't raise a hand against you. The whole situation left me bewildered as it spun out of my control…

_Why was that?_

Self-control, discipline, they are my strongest traits. I've killed innocents before. Slaughtered men, women and children without mercy. Without a conscience. You were just one loud-mouthed little earth girl… but you made me feel…

You made me _feel._

It's been so long since anything but pain and rage filled my soul. The nights I spent with you grew longer each time, I stayed with you more often, I held you and watched you as you slept. And I _felt _again.

What began as passion, turned into something… something unnamable. Something unknowable. For me at least.

Passion is a word that can describe all number of things. My training was my passion. It was never about the kill, it was always about the power. How much power I had, how much I could have…

During the day, we fought endlessly. It wasn't until that first night, and that first kiss, that I understood the fire I saw in you each and every day. I realized where it came from, and also, that it was in me too.

I have never run from anything in my life. And I did not run from you.

I'm running towards something.

For the first time in my life, I've realized what it means to leave a mark on the world. And I've done so, with my son.

I've never held him in my own arms, and I doubt I ever will. The things I touch tend to crumble beneath my fingertips. I could never fathom how someone like you could lay beneath me and let me touch you, with no fear or disgust in your eyes at all…

I'm no longer fit to lay claim to something so… innocent. But I understand now. I understand Kakarot's power has nothing to do with him being better then me. I understand that I have to let go of old emotions, and make room for new ones.

It's time I found myself a place in this world, and I don't know when, or where, or even _how_ it will happen.

But I think… I'm ready to find out. To discover just what I am truly capable of...

* * *

_Notes: If you think Vegeta sounds OOC… well, maybe he is slightly. But in my opinion, the Android Saga was a pivotal moment in Ve__geta's character development, so I'm pushing the limits on what I can do with him. There's a deeper side to Vegeta then just 'eat, train, kill Kakarot'. _

_There will be more from Vegeta and Bulma, building on these 'letters' (which in my mind are more like… inner musings… can you see Vegeta sat with a diary in his little spaceship!? XD)_

_Next Up: Future Trunks…_

**Disclaimer: All rights to DragonballZ and its characters belong to their respective owners, as do the song lyrics (In The Deep)**


	4. Future Trunks

_The older I get  
Will I get over it?  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I didn't know then it would hurt like this…_

_The time between  
Those cutting words  
Built up our defenses, Never made no sense, It just made me hurt  
Do you believe  
That time heals all wounds..._

* * *

_Three months after entering the Time Chamber…_

"The room of time and space"

How fitting a title.

Father, you and I have been sealed in this chamber for at least three months now, and you've barely spoken a word to me… unless it was about training, or a criticism of some sort.

"_You're in my way, boy"_

"_Pathetic"_

"_You're too weak"_

"_You hold me back, brat"_

I'll be honest. It was a shock, when I finally got to meet you. There are no photographs of you in my time, you see, so I'd never seen that coldness in your eyes before. And my mother… she doesn't like to talk about you too much. Nor of her life before the androids. It causes her too much pain, I think.

But now…

I'm beginning to suspect that _you_ were the cause of her pain all along. She never told me what you were really like. Oh, she said you were distant and difficult to get to know; obsessed with training and beating Goku. I even know a little of your life as one of Freeza's slaves from her stories. But I never imagined that my mother, a woman with such strength and intelligence and a warm heart, could fall in love with you, when you're so… cruel.

Yes father. You _are_ cruel.

'Cold' is too hollow a word to describe how you are, how you treat the people around you.

Mother believed you cared for her. But… when Gero attacked the ship carrying both her and this time-line's version of myself, you left them to their fate. Had I not stepped in, we'd both be dead in this world.

Would you have cared?

Would you have regretted your obsession with defeating the androids, and proving your strength, when you realized the only people in this universe to every truly care for you had been murdered right before your eyes, and you did _nothing._

I'm watching you now. You're standing in the middle of this empty chamber, and it's almost like a reflection of your soul; harsh and vacant. Are you meditating? Trying to figure out the next step to gain more strength? I don't know. I don't understand a thing you do… I don't know _you._

I always dreamed of what you would be like. I took my inspirations from the things I was told, and I guess I never imagined you as a… a thinker. I was told you were a brilliant tactician, of course. Gohan spoke of you more freely then mother ever did, and he could understand you as a warrior. But still, I always thought of you… like fire. Blazing and unyielding. But seeing you stand there now, immovable, you remind me of ice; a frozen statue in an empty room.

Father…

… why must you insist of being alone?

* * *

_Six months after entering the Time Chamber…_

You struck me today.

I think it's possibly only the second time you've come close enough to touch me, of your own free will, since we met. The first time, you hit me then too; in the stomach, as I tried to stop you going after the androids when Goku was too ill to fight.

You say I interfere in your training, that you fight alone and always will.

I am your _son, _and still, you won't let me near…

When I saw you there, bellowing in a way I'd never heard before, surrounded by flames that threatened to swallow you whole… even thought you've been so unkind to me, I _had_ to save you.

But you didn't need my help, of course.

The flames weren't a threat to you, because they came _from _you. An outward manifestation of all the pain and rage you felt. I was wrong about you. Your soul isn't empty at all… it's filled with hate, vengeance and blood.

Father, I think this was a mistake. All my life, I wanted to know you, to understand what it meant to be your son. But now, the knowledge I have of you only brings me fear. Is this what it means to be a Saiyan? To share your blood?

I've known fear all my life, but never like this…

* * *

_Nine months after entering the Time Chamber…_

I understand now. I do.

All of the pain and the anger I've witnessed was merely a shell, a masquerade. It doesn't hide a softer side to you, but it does hide something I never thought I'd associate with you…

Vulnerability.

Not that you're weak. Not at all. But, your greatest strength is also your greatest flaw. Not your pride, but your honor as a warrior, and a Prince. The two are separated by a fine line, of course; pride and honor. They're almost the same. But I think I've grown to understand the subtle line that distinguishes them. As a child, you had everything stripped away from you. Your entire life, like mine, was spent fighting for your… your _everything_! Freedom, power, a sense of self that had no mark of ownership on it.

Just like I am scarred by the presence of the androids in my world, you still bare the mark of your fathers betrayal, and Freeza's cruelty. Though I cannot accept the poor treatment you've shown others, myself and mother included, I can understand the reason for it. The loneliness, the resentment.

Father, I thought coming here would give me answers. Then, I thought it was a mistake, creating only more questions. I've learnt now that one can't simply accept things at face value. There is always something deeper, waiting to be discovered. Your arrogance is just another flaw, as all people have. Born from a need to prove yourself, your worth, your right to your own existence.

I can see now, the thing that my mother saw in you too. I'm glad I made this journey into the past, and that I got to see the true pride of a Saiyan. When I return home, I'll be taking more then memories with me. I'll take with me a sense of honor that I never knew before…

What it truly means to be your son, and a Saiyan of royal blood.

* * *

**Disclaimer: All right belong to their respective owners (including the lyrics – "The Older I Get" by Skillet)**

_Author Notes:_

_I'll be including information on the time in which these little 'letters' take place in the chapters following, just so no one gets lost and you can see the development of thought over time. _

* * *


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